


I'm Not A Flower Bud

by Yurutono



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Animal Death, Body Horror, F/F, Mild Gore, Out of Character, nozomi's kind of a dick but i still love her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-03 17:53:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10253639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurutono/pseuds/Yurutono
Summary: Hidden from prying eyes, a young girl undergoes an inhuman transformation. When a mother looks at her daughter with repulsion and sends her away, the only thing she can truly do is turn to her friends.





	1. Chapter 1

Who was she again?

She thought her name began with a K, or was that her last name?

She looked to the veins running up her arm, tainted black and her trembles were visible. She had gotten so used to it by now she no longer noticed. Here she was, locked away because of what she was becoming. Even her own _mother_ had looked at her in fear and repulsion, so much so that she doubted she even loved her any more.

All because of that damned witch.

She had had plenty of time to think about this. Plenty of time to think about what she had done to her and what she wanted to do in return.

She wanted nothing more than to grab her, twist her, crush her; _kill her_.

She could feel scratching; clawing below her skin, as if something wanted to burst out and tear through what was keeping her here. No, no! Those thoughts weren’t human.

She shook her head and scratched at her arm, leaving the skin rawed and cursing as she ripped through her own skin, a horrible black-red substance oozing through the ugly wound left. It was too thick. It was too dark. It was too inhuman. A low growl tore through her chest before she clenched her fists and cut it off, sharpened nails digging into her palms and drawing more of the oozing substance she refused to call her lifeblood.

Sometimes the witch appeared to her in her dreams and nothing annoyed her more than hearing her taunt and tell no lies about her condition. And every swipe she made, every lunge, every assault that she attempted was left unfulfilled and unsatisfied, with her anger mounting day by day.

The one thing that stuck in her mind, however, was the witch saying that this was only the first phase. Months, or perhaps a year of this agony, were only the first phase of what was happening to her. She had no idea what she was. She didn’t know whether she was more human or more… Well, monster. But what came next? The witch wouldn’t tell her.

But every day, she sat in her cell and tried to reclaim her memories. She remembered very little from her life. She remembered her mother, or rather, the look she had on her face when this infection started to show and she had found out. She remembered a couple of her friends, but nothing about how they had reacted when she had been made to leave. The one thing she never forgot though, was the witch.

It was a form of meditation, she supposed, one that calmed her down and helped her retain her human side. She couldn’t help but feel, however, that there was _something_ growing in her mind. But she still didn’t want to admit that she was scared, possibly knowing that the witch was right. Or even that the witch knew how she was feeling.

Suddenly, she heard something be shoved into her cell and something snapped. Or did it click? An animal, live, had been thrown in, only a paltry little thing, but enough to send her newfound instincts into a frenzy. She could hear its heartbeat; sense its fear and she knew it had seen her. But that didn’t matter, it had nowhere to go. 

With little to no hesitation, she couldn’t stop herself from lunging with speed she didn’t know she had, harshly clamping around its neck and ripping its throat out with her bare hands. Blood caked her hands, splattered on her body and she soon tore into it with her teeth, raw and animalistic.

When she came to, there were barely a few scraps left, entrails and organs hanging, a bloodied mess of bones and she felt sick to her stomach. What was she…? She had had this kind of incident happen before, but they had never sent something that was _alive_. Was it just a morbidly twisted, or even worse, fascinated guard…?

“Enjoying yourself there?”

She whirled round, to face what she had dreaded. The witch was there, sat on the small stool that she had been given. Her thoughts instantly went to those violent ones, crush her, grind her into nothing but dust and draw out her death for doing this to her. Even if those thoughts invaded and prodded at her mind, she found herself rooted the spot, soaked in blood; her body trembling.

“I’d say things are progressing quite nicely… You haven’t had the chance to look in a mirror, have you?” She asked, pacing around her.

“Why… Wh-why did you do this to me…?” That was a question she had never asked before. She had either never spoken, or been too consumed with rage to ask anything coherent.

“Well… If I had say why… It’s interesting.”

“Interesting…?”

She let out a laugh, a malicious glint in her eyes, “It’s gorgeous. To see everything that you can do to the body with a subject… My dear, this is a hobby! Why else would I be doing this? I’m not new to it either. Do you not remember your name again? I told you last time.”

She had no choice but to shake her head.

“Your name is very important, Minami Kotori. Do try and not to lose it,” She hummed, conjuring up a mirror, “Take a look. Progress is coming along nicely, wouldn’t you agree?”

Kotori. That was it. She didn’t want to gaze towards the mirror, but she was fixated by her rapidly changing form. Not that she could remember it too well, but now that things were face to face with her, she couldn’t deny that she didn’t look human. 

First of all was her face. With still a semblance of humanity there, her eyes had completely lost its iris, the amber colour that had been one of her favourite things inherited from her mother was gone. Instead, her pupil had taken over the area her iris once had, a pitch black. Thread veins were present on her right cheek and she couldn’t help but gingerly touch them and spreading from those was a light grey patch. Dried blood smeared her lips and she knew her teeth were sharper. Her hair wasn’t flattering either, it had lost its lustre, even if the small tuft was still present, it didn’t make her feel that much better at all.

She had had plenty of an opportunity to see the rest of her body, perhaps not as vividly as she could now, though. Besides, this mirror seemed to draw out the worst in her. Then again, maybe that was simply reality. She looked to her arms and a dark grey path had been carved out underneath her skin, trailing all the way up to her very shoulder and perhaps beyond. Her fingernails had become more like blackened claws and the only thing that seemed to be normal was her hands, mainly.

Her shirt was disheveled and had soaked up an alarming amount of blood, sticking to her body in an unflattering way, but she would rather it be on than off at this point in time, glancing to the witch that stood with an infuriating smirk on her face. Hesitantly though, she unbuttoned the blouse to reveal greyed and blackened skin, with the only non-discoloured parts covered in ugly-looking thread veins.

“I’ve seen enough,” She said, rather strained, scratching at her arm and feeling a slight lump on the greyed areas of her arm, a wave of nausea hitting her nearly immediately square in the stomach, before then hastily buttoning her blouse back up with shaking fingers.

The witch seemed to notice, “Phase two comes faster than you’d think, no?”

She swallowed and turned away from the mirror, seeing it dissipate out of the corner of her eye, “How did you get in here…?”

“Magic,” She stated simply, “As if there was ever any doubt?”

“And the live animal…?”

“Well, it’s not live anymore, is it?” She mused out loud, “You did quite a number on it, I must say.”

Kotori shook her head and awaited a proper answer, not wanting to open her mouth.

“Of course, that was magic too. It was a real creature that I brought with me to see how you’d react to it. Think of yourself as a guinea pig and that was a little treat.”

“Can you tell me what’s going to happen next…?” It was a faint hope, but perhaps knowing would soften the blow and perhaps the witch would be kind enough to tell her.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you. Not because I don’t want to, but rather because I don’t actually know! I’ve never used what I used on you before. It’s all a little mystery to the both of us and honestly, I can’t wait,” The witch sighed, “But I’m afraid I really must be getting off. People to see, to curse, that kind of thing. Good luck with your, ‘phase two’.” 

The witch shot her a grin, before Kotori blurted, “Wait!”

“Mm?”

“What’s… What’s your name, exactly?”

“I’ve told you before, haven’t I?”

“I don’t remember…”

“My my, you don’t have the best memory, do you? Then again, if you didn’t remember your own name, how can you be expected to remember mine? Tojo Nozomi,” She gave her a polite bow, “But ah, as I said, I must be getting off. I have another to attend to.”

“I’m not the only one?”

“Of course not, I have multiple projects going at once!”

“What’s your goal…? Your reasoning behind this…?” 

“Ah-ah, you’ve used up your question quota for the day. No more,” She said, tutting and then disappearing in an obnoxious, choking puff of purple smoke. 

Kotori collapsed against the wall, bringing up her knees and hugging into them pitifully, letting out a few choked sobs. But she had to remember what she had been told. If she forgot, she doubted Nozomi would tell her again. Still though, she didn’t want to lose the memories, however vague and painful, of her friends and her mother. Before she knew it though, she had passed out from exhaustion, sprawled on the cold floor as though she were lifeless.

~

Even though Kotori hadn’t seen the sunlight in so long, she was sure that Winter must have been hitting, as the cell was filled with harsh, biting cold. 

But it didn’t bother her too much, for whatever reason. 

She brought her hand to her arm again, where things that were sharp were poking underneath her skin, ready to pierce at any moment and whatever they were, she saw the pitch black colouring below.

She couldn’t see her face though, to see how whatever was happening to her cheek was progressing, but upon touching it, she could feel that the skin seemed to be too shallow, as if thinning away.

Her legs were gradually becoming rougher, from what though, she could only guess. With another sigh, she sat cross legged and shaking still, jabbing pains shooting through her arms.

Then, she heard the cell door open and she raised herself with a start, pressing herself close up to the wall. She supposed right now she was more human, as fear spread through her. Heavily booted feet padded along the cold stone before stopping, “Kotori…”

Kotori’s hand came up to partially cover her face, but she looked through the gap in her fingers at the girl in front of her. She seemed like a stranger, but so familiar at the same time. Dark blue hair, brown eyes, armoured and with a weapon at her side, which only made her heart rate double. It almost made her want to lash out. But she forced herself to sit back down.

“Kotori,” She repeated, “What happened…?”

She shook her head, ignoring the question, “Who are you…?”

“You don’t remember?” She asked, sitting herself down with her, “Sonoda Umi. Does that mean anything to you?”

Kotori did agree the name sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She looked to see that the girl; Umi, did seem genuinely concerned for her.

“You sound familiar… I just don’t remember a lot.”

Umi sighed, “Alright… But what happened to you? You disappeared. Your mother wouldn’t tell me or Honoka where you’d gone.”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t remember a lot then?” Umi sighed, “You don’t remember anything? Anything about Honoka?”

“The name sounds familiar.”

“But nothing else?”

She shook her head.

“Do you remember anything about me?”

Kotori shook her head again.

Very briefly, Umi looked quite hurt, “I see,” She said, glancing away for a second, “Do you know what’s happening to you? Anything at all? I know that you might not know me anymore, but please, I would truly do anything for you.” 

Kotori looked to see the sense of determination and urgency in Umi’s eyes and she wondered about the relationship between them. One that she had seemingly forgotten, “I… Well… There’s a witch. I think… I think she did this,” Kotori gazed to the unsightly bumps beneath her skin, noting how one had become much more pronounced and itchy in particular.

“A witch?” Umi said, tilting her head, “There’s one here? They’re awfully rare.”

“I-I’m sure… Tojo… Nozomi…? I think that’s what she said…”

“I’ll do what I can to find her, I swear.”

“What if this happens to you too? Don’t, please.”

“Kotori, you may not remember but we’ve been… Friends ever since we were children. If something happened to you, or to Honoka I swore I wouldn’t let it go.”

Umi seemed all the more determined and whether or not it was based on anger, their relationship, or the fact that she had forgotten all about her. Kotori couldn’t help but feel a pain in her chest from not remembering this girl at all. 

“You shouldn’t sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn’t remember who you are…” Kotori said pitifully.

“Kotori… Please, I want to do something. I haven’t been able to do anything for months.”

“You should forget about me… I’m dangerous, I-I don’t remember a lot and I’m barely human anymore,” She said with a broken sob, “I don’t know why I haven’t even attacked you yet…”

“Because you don’t want to, right? You’re still human.”

“I don’t even know anymore…”

Umi opened her mouth to say something more, clearly concerned before there was a banging on the door, “Sonoda! Your time’s up. Get out of there.”

Umi didn’t seem to want to go, but she hauled herself up, “I’m sorry. I’ll come back when I can.” 

Kotori nodded, not looking up to see Umi go as the door slammed behind her.

~

That night, Kotori felt the searing, itching pain piercing the skin on her arms as one of the bumps finally tore through her skin, finding that midnight black feathers were sprouting from her. And even if her horror was long-lived, nothing detracted from the agony ripping through her veins at the same time. She could see them growing out, feel them clawing and soon both of the back of her arms were covered in these dense, thick feathers. The irony lost her, Kotori clenched her fists as the pain began to subside, hitting her back against the stone wall. 

But then she found, upon hitting the wall, she could feel tiny spikes; dense bumps covering there as well. In particular, there were two larger bumps as well.

~

“Honoka!” As soon as she was off work, Umi had charged home, battering past whoever she could whilst blurting hasty apologies to anyone who would listen to her. She just about battered down the bakery doors, startling Honoka, so much so that she nearly dropped the tray she was holding.

“What, what?! Did you think I was asleep again?!” 

Umi shook her head, “It’s not that! It’s Kotori!”

“Kotori-chan?!”

“I found her, I-I know where she is!”

“Where?! C’mon, you have to take me!” Honoka seemed suddenly filled with excitement, but then, Umi realised she would have to deliver a horrible reality.

What was she to say? That Kotori was becoming inhuman, that Kotori was undergoing pain Umi would likely never know; that Kotori didn’t actually remember them anymore?

She swallowed.

“It’s… She’s… Not in a good situation. I can’t show you where she is.”

Honoka’s face fell and Umi felt a wave of regret, “There’s a reason. I will explain, but I need you to be prepared to hear the worst.”

“Alright,” Honoka blinked, “I’ll just close up…”

Umi decided she should help as it would definitely speed things up. Soon enough, she would follow Honoka up the stairs and kneel beside the table with her, “Right… Kotori…”

Honoka decided to stay quiet, _for once_ , Umi thought. 

“She…” She struggled for the words, “She’s in a cell. Below the repurposed castle, in the dungeons.”

“But she’s not a criminal, right?”

“No. But she’s not the Kotori we know anymore. She doesn’t remember us.”

“What…?”

“I think a witch cursed or infected her. She’s, well, transforming I suppose is the best word for it. I’m not entirely sure what she’s becoming, but… It’s clear we can’t really hope to help her condition.”

“Kotori-chan…” Honoka sniffled, her eyes watering, “But, you’ve seen her right…?”

“Yeah. I’m going to try and help her in any way I can, I promise.”

“I’ll help too! I don’t want to sit by and let you do all the work.”

“Alright… I don’t know what we can do right now, but I suppose the best option is tracking down the witch that did this to her.”

“Right!”

“I’m going to see her whenever I can though. I’ve pulled too many strings and done too many favours to let her slip away now…”

Honoka nodded seriously, “She’ll be fine. We’ll help her out. I want to see her again though. Can you try and sneak me in…?”

Umi couldn’t help but manage a chuckle, “I’ll see what I can do, but it’ll be difficult.”


	2. Chapter 2

She had blacked out, hadn't she? She had aching pains in her nails, her knuckles were bloodied and bruised and when she looked around, indents and carvings littered the walls.

Wait, was it night time?

No moonlight was bleeding through the window far above the cell, yet she could see clearly through the darkness. That was unsettling.

She was also becoming more inclined to sleep through the day and wake up in the night. Additionally, she was woken up by irritable itching, causing her to growl and snarl as more feathers burst from her back gradually, slowly; far more agonizingly than before, as it was when spreading up her arms.

She could hear whispers outside. She could only imagine it was because no one had ever seen a prisoner like her before, a monster like her before. Whether they cruelly mocked her and her condition, spoke in hushed and fearing whispers, or were arguing about who would dare enter the boundaries of the cell, it didn't matter, she knew it was about her.

Soon enough, the door clanked and shuddered open, a rather heavy duty door, Kotori thought, revealing a surprisingly confident looking guard. In his arms, an animal, thankfully dead this time. He dumped it down, making a show of dusting off his hands as he eyed Kotori all the while. And Kotori stared right back, watching like a hawk.

She could feel the feathers on her arms bristle as he took a step closer and a snarl threatened to rip from her throat. Fortunately, she kept herself human, but never once did she look away. 

“So, this is what the guards have been talking about? The creature locked in the dungeons, feral and unkempt?” He crouched down with a smirk, “Doesn’t look like much to me.”

She couldn’t stop herself from letting out a small hiss, backing herself up further against the wall. It was more out of fear that she would hurt him, if she was honest with herself.

“You haven’t even hurt anyone have you?” He said, “You’d think a thing like you would have done something like that.”

“Do you want to be the first?” Kotori said before she even had a chance to think about it.

He scoffed, seeming to be thrown off balance a bit at that remark, “Well, I don’t envy you down here. But it’s befitting of your kind.”

“What is my kind?” She asked, genuinely curious, but it wasn’t a question that was meant to be answered.

She noticed a subtle twitch in his leg muscle and her feathers bristled again, even feeling a pressure build up in the sharper bumps of her back, about ready to pierce through her skin. She watched his eyes look to her feathers before he shifted his weight, “Listen, ah… I’ve been dared to grab one of your feathers. Can I?”

She shook her head, “No.”

“Come on.”

“Get out,” She growled suddenly, feeling a rising anger in her.

He sighed and looked as though her were about to turn, before suddenly shooting his hand out to snatch a feather, but Kotori was far faster, grabbing his wrist and clawing down his arm, leaving three gaping gashes. He let out more than a yell of pain, stumbling back as he watched her rise to her full height above him.

_No, no,_ she couldn’t kill him. She would surely forfeit her humanity, her sane mind, but with a searing anger in her chest, she wanted to do something to him.

“You want one of my feathers,” She snarled, suddenly feeling the tension of her cheek rip through the skin by the seams, as if it were mere thread, dropping and rotting away to reveal two rows of jagged, sharpened teeth right up until the lips, “Then have this one.”

Her mind being driven of its own volition and rage, a feather plucked itself from her arm, floating momentarily before thrusting itself down and embedding itself in his eye.

She didn’t do anything more as he was hurriedly dragged, kicking and screaming from her cell. She felt more feathers pierce through her back and tear her blouse. She realized now how poor of a condition her shirt was actually in, but she shook her head, gazing towards her clawed hands and the blood dripping from the nails. Could they be really described as nails anymore?

Then, she felt the aching and slight burning sensation in her cheek, bringing her fingers up to touch the supposedly thinning skin, until she was met with nothing. Nothing but the two rows of monstrous teeth. Collapsing back onto her stool, a pit of dread grew in her stomach. Why had she done all that? Still though, she hadn’t killed, she hadn’t killed. But, she could have. Prey was right there, defenseless and cowering.

Her attention snapped back to the dead animal all of a sudden. He could have been no more than that beast over there, although a lot less clean and with a lot more missing.

Curiously though, she moved to pull another feather, but found the task to be a lot more difficult that she thought. It wasn’t weak plumage or loose, any of it. How had she done that before? Maybe it only happened when she was threatened or wanting to harm something. _Or someone_. 

~

“Deep gash wounds,” Maki hummed in disgust, “And a pierced eye.” She shook her head. How could the creature that had done this be allowed to live? Even if it was festering away in the dungeons, there was always a risk that it would escape or harm another guard, one that she would have to fix up, she thought begrudgingly. His story was simple, but then again, why would he make anything up? To demonize a literal monster? Ridiculous.

Soon enough, she had dressed the wounds, but little could be done about the eye. A simple eyepatch would have to do the trick, something he would have to wear for the rest of his life. Regardless, the feather struck her as odd. How had something so delicate been made into something so deadly? Surely, pierced at the right angle, it could be lethal on the heart and if a tad longer, could have seriously damaged the brain. Though, she was reluctant to touch the thing, with the foreboding aura it gave out. Her mother had told her not to touch it either, as she left the room and left Maki to finish up.

Pulling her out of her thoughts, a blue haired girl pushed her way through the doors, a girl she recognised, but not one that she could put a name to.

“What happened?” She said, stopping in front of the bed and frowning as she looked over his bindings.

“You know what they have in the dungeons, don’t you? Furthest cell down, there’s a… Creature there.”

She appeared quite agitated by her words, but Maki shrugged it off. Why would she be offended for it? 

“He went in to provide it with food and was attacked. That's all there is to it.”

She opened her mouth, as if to try and argue against her, but she shook her head, Right… I see.” She said, “Thank you for telling me.”

Maki was about to ask why she was so bothered about this, taking umbrage for a monster and so eager to know what had happened, before she stormed off without another word.

~

“Sonoda, I can't authorise another visit to the cell after the incident. I'm sorry,” He said, “I can't risk another guard getting hurt. Whatever kind of connection you had to her, she isn't herself anymore, that much is clear.”

“Please, sir, I know she wouldn't do this.”

“I'm afraid you can't say that for sure. She has changed. I know this might be difficult to hear, but you will never get her back to the way she was, for whatever reason this has happened.”

Umi didn't want to let on that she knew more as of yet. Revealing the presence of a witch could cause panic, could implicate her somehow, she wasn't sure.

“I understand.”

With that, she left without another word. Although she usually was inclined to take orders from her senior officer, this was her best friend she was talking about. He’d never taken her off the guard rotation, however. She was still able to hold the keys to the cells as she did her rounds, so she weighed up her options in her mind.

Disobey her orders and have unofficial visits to Kotori, or abide by them and break her promise to Kotori.

Her own job didn’t matter at this point. So, when it was her next opportunity for guard duty, she slipped inside unnoticed, not thinking anything would be worse.

But there she was, feathers sprouting all the more from her back, in fact, she seemed to have caught her through a painful bout of skin tearing and snarling, not having noticed her enter. Umi stood briefly frozen.

“Kotori…?”

She raised with a start, feathers bristling angrily, before slowly calming herself down and tilting her head at the girl who had said her name. She remembered her name this time.

“Umi-chan,” She attempted to say it normally, but her voice sounded more gravelly, rough and coarse, as though her throat was severely sore. A sickening crack accompanied the harsh tensing of Kotori’s shoulders, but nothing more came regarding a change. 

It hadn’t been too long since she last saw her and this had already gotten much worse. She hadn’t even gone out to look for the witch yet. The skin of her cheek worn away, two harsh jagged rows of teeth beyond any normal human shape and the feathers now entirely covered her back and appeared to have a strange life of their own, bristling whenever anyone, including Umi herself, approached. She carefully sat herself down in front of her after glancing to the door. 

“I… Brought you a new shirt,” Umi said, handing over something she had taken from Kotori’s former home. Of course, it wasn’t a break-in, but she didn’t exactly have permission. And seeing as her shirt was even worse for wear, still soaked in dried blood and with numerous tears littering the back and the arms, she supposed it was a good thing.

Kotori sniffed at the thing, like some kind of feral dog before clutching it close to her chest, “It smells… Like me,” She observed, slightly delayed in her speech, struggling to remember the words, almost.

“Yes, it’s yours. It’s from your home.”

“Home…?” Kotori tilted her head, but nodded in understanding. 

For a second, the tensed and bristled feathers relaxed slightly, before regaining their hostility. Umi had no idea how she could help any of this. She was powerless to watch as someone she called one of her closest friends twisted and turned into this. And even if something in her mind was telling her that she shouldn’t bother to try and salvage any kind of connection she may have with her and that she was becoming far too monstrous and dangerous to be around. But she didn’t want to throw her time here away. Not the years of friendship they had built up, with Honoka too. Come to think of it, she was yet to find a way to have Honoka come and see her as well. Then again, did Umi really want Honoka to see this?

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Umi sighed, “Do you remember anything more?”

There was a pause.

“No.”

She had expected that, but it didn’t make the blow any better for her. 

“Can I come closer?”

Umi could feel those black eyes on her in an instant, but the shuffling of her body and the feathers rubbing against the wall were recognisable enough for Umi to know that she would be allowed to sit next to her, “I can’t stay for much longer. I have to get back to my duties soon.”

Kotori nodded, “What is Honoka-chan like…?” She asked in a soft tone, trying to distance herself from the harsh one earlier.

“Well,” Umi managed a laugh, “She’s clumsy, tactless, the most unsubtle person you could ever meet, yet she’s kind, energetic and would do just about anything for a friend. And to her you’re still her friend.”

Kotori glanced towards her skeptically before letting her feathers relax again. Maybe Umi was starting to get on her good side. Maybe she would be able to help her this way. Looking to the side of her face, Umi was able to see the side of her that still looked distinctly human. Her cheek on this side was still intact and although her iris couldn’t be seen, just about everything was still the same. From her hair, to her lips, everything. She was still beautiful.

“Was I a good friend…?” She asked quietly.

“Of course you were. There was rarely a day where I ever saw you sad. You were always ready to be with us. And you acted as a sort of buffer between me and Honoka when we disagreed or you thought I was being too harsh on her.”

Now that Umi thought about it, the arguments and conversations between Honoka and herself had simmered down considerably ever since Kotori’s disappearance. Not that she was the catalyst, Umi thought, but rather because with her gone it wasn’t the same. Honoka had stuck to her responsibilities, Umi had stuck to hers as well.

“And…” Umi trailed off with a sigh.

“And…?”

“Nothing,” She shook her head, “If I hadn’t stopped myself I probably wouldn’t have been able to shut myself up.” She sent her a smile and a small flash of one on Kotori’s own face appeared as well for a split second. A smile looked much better on her face than a pained grimace.

“Sorry, I have to go,” Umi said, leaning forward and slowly standing herself up, “They’ll wonder where I am if I’m too late.”

“Okay,” Kotori said simply, looking as though she didn’t have the energy to say anything more. 

As soon as she had left, Kotori turned her attention back to the clean shirt. Giving it another cautionary sniff, she decided it was safe and began to peel the shirt off her body, trying not to tug too painfully at her feathers. Something behind the skin of her back began to push, wanting to revel in the freedom, but she quickly covered herself up again. The feeling began to subside briefly and there was a sudden sharp pain and she could nearly feel the layers of skin being torn apart to the very final part, until it stopped.

Her fingers grazed against something particularly rough against her skin and upon looking down she saw coarse, grey scales running and spreading up her sides. Whimpering, she did up the buttons and sighed, sitting back against the wall and bringing her knees close to herself. Could this not have been anyone else? Why her?

She reached to touch her non-existent cheek, as though it hadn’t really happened, only to be met with those unfamiliar and inhuman teeth. She felt along to the corner of her mouth, only to find that a small split had formed. Upon opening her mouth, she could tell that the split was there to allow for her to have a full and effective bite. Part of her morbidly wondered if the other side was destined to become the same.

~

A few days later, Umi had returned for another visit, but struggled to make much conversation out of Kotori. She knew that if she kept seeing her there might be some humanity to be regained and kept intact within her.

Kotori had slowly revealed to her that the witch had visited again. And if her memory was serving her correctly, the witch had casually mentioned that she lived in the forest on the western side of the city. Although Umi thought that the situation was a little too perfect, she wanted to try and find her as soon as possible.

With her next opportunity in sight, Umi quickly headed to the border of the forest, looking to the darkened shrouds between the trees, she lit up her torch, checked her weaponry and headed through.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as she was barely a few trees down, the darkness enveloped everything. Of course, this was likely the perfect setting for a witch, shrouded in mystery and with unforeseen dangers, plants, animals, herbs, the list went on. She was almost worried the torch would extinguish itself and leave her.

Carefully stepping over knotted roots, avoiding ominous looking patches of plants and trying not to touch anything other than grass below her boot. And even the grass wasn’t setting her at ease. 

But even worse was the feeling that someone, or worse, something was watching her. Of course, wandering into a witch’s territory was something she knew wasn’t exactly going to be an easy or comfortable feat, but this was for Kotori. She had to know if there was some way to help her, reverse what was happening to her, anything. Hell, part of her even was willing to give herself up, perhaps take the burden off her.

Deep in her thoughts of what she was going to do when or if she did actually find this witch, she could’ve sworn she could hear footsteps behind her. She tightened her grip around the handle of her weapon and forged onwards regardless, keeping in mind that this forest could be filled with any number of creatures and possibly monsters, similar to what Kotori was becoming-

She couldn’t think like that. She shouldn’t think like that. At the end of this all, Kotori was still her friend and always would be. Nothing could ever change how she thought of her.

This time, a snap of a twig stopped her in her tracks and looked behind her, from where she sound had come from. This wasn’t her imagination playing tricks on her, no matter how on edge she was.

She had only a split second to draw her weapon before something lunged at her, seemingly realising that its cover was blown.

She only had the time to knock it back with the flat of her sword, which did little to deter it seemingly. She couldn’t even get a good glance of all of its features before it took the opportunity to use the force of the attack to retract back into the shadows.

Umi knew she was at a disadvantage here, especially seeing as the next pounce, from the right side of herself this time, caused her to drop her only light source, but she had no time to pick it up, lest she leave herself open to what was standing in front of her

Or rather, _who_ was standing in front of her. Undeniably, the creature in front of her was and perhaps still was, in fact, a young girl. Older than her, she could tell, but only by a year or so.   
But, similarly to Kotori, she appeared to have been mutated and twisted. Coarse fur spread across her forearms and covered her hands, black claws threateningly on show. Although, Umi had never really seen any creature with _blonde_ fur before.

It, or rather, she drew back, two tattered animal ears atop her head, twitching whilst those piercing blue eyes dug into her, watching for movements, any signs that she might attack back. She let out an animalistic growl, bearing sharpened teeth with torn cheeks to reveal the rows behind.

Umi took the next strike, delivering a swing towards her shoulder, but the girl in front of her was faster, lunging to tackle her around the waist and pin her on the ground, before Umi thankfully managed to brace her legs to kick her off.

Whilst she stumbled back, Umi quickly righted herself on her feet, thrusting the blade forward to run through her stomach. Much to Umi’s relief, the attack connected, going straight through to the other side.

But the creature in front of her didn’t take much notice, as her relief was short lived, placing a hand on the sword and pulling it out of her, until Umi jumped back, ready to continue the attack, as the sword tore her shirt and left it hanging off her.

Underneath the shirt, there was little to no skin present, sinew and bone hanging onto each other with still working organs underneath. Jagged and disjointed bones had grown over to protect the stomach, yet there were no signs of where her sword had ran itself through. Suddenly, the bones cracked and twisted, moving themselves to harbour gaps between where more organs were present, suspended by copious amounts of sinew, muscle and tissue. Umi felt sickened to her own stomach, one that was thankfully not in view at this moment. Although as she lunged again, Umi wondered how long it would take before her own organs were spilled.

“Stop!”

The creature on top of her suddenly halted, pushing herself off Umi obediently, but still eyeing her with unmasked cautiousness and retaining a hardened expression as a woman made her way through the treeline.

“Elichi, is this how we treat our guests?”

Umi’s eyes flickered over the person who had just come into both of their vision. 

“Are you-”

“A witch? Yes, yes,” The woman let out a laugh, “But you should call me Nozomi, eh? I don’t want to ominously be known as ‘the witch’ all the time.”

Umi huffed, her weapon still drawn.

“But, ah,” Nozomi said, suddenly clasping her hands together and seemingly not taking too much notice of the fact that a sword was being brandished in her direction, “I should introduce her too, she has some trouble speaking,” Nozomi looked towards the girl, “This is Eli. I know you two didn’t get off on the best terms, but really, I could see you two becoming friends.

Umi stared incredulously, she was here to get help for Kotori, not to make friends with something in the forest that had tried to attack her.

“So… What brings you out here? Only a madman would wander out here with no purpose at all,” Nozomi observed, “And an even madder person would come out in search of a witch.”

“Well,” Umi said, letting her sword fall to her side, “Maybe I am mad. But you’ve done something to my friend.”

“Ah… Is this about Kotori-chan? Let me guess, you want me to turn her back.”

“Yes, or - or something,” Umi said, deciding that her sword wasn't doing her any favours as she sheathed it, “Please.”

“Hm. Maybe we should discuss this somewhere more comfortable.” 

With that, she didn't allow anything more to be said, as Eli padded her way in front of Nozomi and they led the way through the trees.

“Wait-!” Umi said, not wanting to get left behind in tangled masses or foreign plant life, some of which she was sure was carnivorous. She guessed that some mutated venus fly traps lay waiting around a corner somewhere. Still though, neither Eli or Nozomi stopped or slowed for her, whilst Umi made a hasty grab for her torch again.

After what seemed to be many minutes of silent trekking, a rather large and homely looking cabin came into view, slightly ramshackle, but a home was a home, Umi thought. If this forest had a less malicious aura, this seemed like the kind of home a lovely old grandma might have lived in.

Leading her inside, Eli would sit down, as would Nozomi, next to each other on rickety wooden chairs. Umi didn't exactly know what to think of someone who looked as monstrous as Eli sitting so humanly. It was… Unsettling.

Nozomi’s eyes told her to sit down in the seat opposite and she did just that, not exactly feeling as though she was in any position to reject any politeness she may receive.

“So, you want to know about Kotori-chan?”

“I don’t want to just _know_. I want to be able to help her.”

“That’s a tall order,” Nozomi observed out loud, “But I’m afraid there’s little you can do, I’ve seen this all too often.”

Umi looked to Eli, of course she had observed these kinds of things. She did this to people, like it was a sick past time, to play with people’s lives. Nozomi saw the flicker of desperation on her face, so she leaned herself forward on her chair.

“She won’t remember you. You know that, don’t you?”

Maybe deep down, Umi did know that, but she didn’t want to accept it. Kotori was one of her best friends and it hurt her deeply to see something like this slowly twist her, make her forget, make her lose her voice. Would she end up like Eli, barely able to speak a word and attacking at the slightest provocation?

Umi shook her head, “There must be a way. Eli listens to you, doesn’t she? She understands you.”

At the mention of her name, Eli only huffed, glancing to Nozomi who had reached over and started to play with her hair, “Elichi and I have a very special connection.”

Umi averted her gaze from the display with a sigh, “I don’t believe you. What’s so different about her? What’s so different that you did to her that you’re not doing to Kotori, or the other way around.”

“There were… Drastically different circumstances in which they became to start turning,” Nozomi answered vaguely, “But that isn't important. Different people respond differently to what I do. But there are patterns. Distinct ways I can see how a person will change. Kotori-chan exhibits memory loss and occasional difficulties with speech articulation. Quite simply, she won’t remember you. There’s nothing you can really do.”

“I… I see.”

“Why do you care so much, anyway?” Nozomi asked, “You’ve requested I answer your questions, I think you can spare a bit of your time too.”

“Because she’s my friend. Anyone would do that for a friend.”

“Friends?” Nozomi raised an eyebrow, “You’re such good friends you’d venture into a forest, nearly get yourself killed in search of a witch that you wasn’t sure that would help you or murder you?”

“Well… When you put it that way I do sound a little more than desperate. But what do you want me to say…?”

“I think you should reconsider your ‘friendship’, as it were,” Nozomi shrugged, “I sense that you came out here expecting me to have some kind of cure for her condition, but I’m afraid there’s little I can do. My hands are tied.”

Nozomi looked almost sad for a moment as she turned her hands over and looked at the palms. Umi couldn’t fathom what drove her to do this and why she would even feel sorry if this was what she did. Glancing to Eli, she shook her head, “I see. I can’t stay too long anyway. I… Thank you for your time, I suppose.”

Although she was unsure why she was being so courteous, Umi was reminded of why with a quick glance to Eli. Then again, she really didn’t want to end up in a similar situation to Kotori. Not that she thought it was a repulsive thing to go through, but from Nozomi’s descriptions, she likely wouldn’t be able to keep her own mind, thus being unable to help.

“Elichi here will lead you out of the forest. Don’t worry, she won’t attack. I have someone to attend to.”

Umi was a little unsettled at the prospect, but as Eli stood, she found herself following suit, unable to argue. But who would she had to attend to in this forest? Another creature like Eli? It seemed possible, but she didn’t want to ask, so she followed Eli out of the cabin and towards the weaving, looming treeline. 

She stayed a little behind Eli, who did glance back at her a few times, as if suspicious to her every move. She couldn’t blame her.

“You… Are curious…?” Came Eli’s voice, gravelly, strained and labouring in difficulty, “About her?”

Umi didn’t feel the need to hold anything back, “Of course I am.”

Eli nodded slowly in understanding, “Even I do not… Fully understand her.”

“No one ever fully understands a person,” Umi stated, “Sometimes you don’t even understand yourself.”

“That… Is correct. Nozomi tries to understand. When she cannot… She tries to make it something she does.”

“And so she did… This to you?”

“Yes. I was… First. But it is not a curse. Not to me. Now you do not understand me… You may have… Done before. Nozomi understands what I am. It may be like an exchange.”

“Who else was she was referring to? Who did she have to attend to?”

“Nico. That’s her name. Nozomi… May be a witch, but she is no doctor. I would… Miss Nico. If she were gone.”

Hearing Eli articulate words and feelings gave her a small pang of hope. 

“The main thing Nozomi never understood… Was love. She was told… Witches could never fall in love,” Eli stopped suddenly, but she remained facing away from Umi, “She met me. She realised she had been lied to. Or that maybe she was different. She did not understand.”

“That’s what led to this?” Umi asked delicately.

“It was how things began. I… Loved her back. I was blinded from what I was becoming. I still love her. Then she developed curiosity.”

Eli’s ear twitched as she continued on at a brisker pace, whilst Umi jogged briefly to catch up. Although some of what she said was difficult to follow, to her at least, she understood why and didn’t comment on it. She appreciated the words, however hard to articulate, given to her.

“It was a… Fascination. Maybe she thought she was doing good...? For them?” Eli scratched at a tattered ear, “But I don’t mind… What I am. I am sorry if this… Hurts… Kotori.”

Umi didn’t know what to say at that point, so she fell back into silence with a short sigh. 

“But… You should think about what Nozomi said… She is… Wiser… Than you would think. You are close with her… Do you want to be even closer…?” Eli stepped over a branch and briefly looked over her shoulder to her.

Umi swallowed at the thought, how shameful the prospect of wanting to be closer to Kotori seemed to be. There was a small pang at her heart, but was it out of want or out of rejection of the idea? She shook her head, “I don’t know.”

“You should think. Maybe there is a way to… To save her mind. Do not blame yourself… If things go wrong.”

Umi shook her head, “Thank you I suppose… I'll consider what she said.”

Eli stopped at the edge of the treeline before the city, “Sorry… About attacking you.”

Umi shrugged, “No harm, no foul.”

Eli managed a slightly alarming looking smile considering how she looked, but Umi knew it was likely difficult for her to retain any semblance of normalcy. She exited the forest and turned back to her, but Eli had already disappeared.

After a rather surreal experience, Umi went back on home, extinguishing the flame.

~

Nozomi trekked her way towards the place Nico had set herself up in, only a paltry little place in comparison to what Nozomi and Eli lived in, but Nico didn’t seem to mind too much. However, Nozomi worried that she might be going a bit stir crazy staring at the same four walls, as she couldn’t go out much.

She carefully knocked on the door and opened it up, to see Nico on the bed above the covers, sweating profusely. Nozomi wasn’t a doctor and she knew it, but she had tried to alleviate the symptoms she felt through whatever she could, herbs, mixtures, anything.

Nozomi had mainly thought that her change of Nico would prevent her from getting ill like this. She had certain regenerative abilities, despite the fact certain parts of her skin had worn away to reveal the bone underneath and although her cheeks hadn’t worn away to see anything below, her teeth had still become sharpened and threatening.

Although, Nozomi had noticed, that out of all the people she had done this to, Nico had exhibited the most resistance. She hadn’t become that animalistic, having retained a lot of what made her human. Her memory was still mostly intact and she could speak just fine. Mainly, advantages were coming out of this whole thing for her, aside from the fact she looked rather pitiful there on the bed. It was a mystery as to why Nico was so ill.

Nico tried to sit herself up before Nozomi shook her head, “No, don’t do that,” She leaned over her and gently pushed her by the shoulder so she lay down again.

“I want to go outside…” She wheezed, irritably wiping off her forehead.

“You’re not in any condition to,” She said, pulling up a chair, “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault…”  
“I’m trying to figure something out. You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” She said, stifling a cough briefly, “But even you have to admit… It’s not going well.”

“I know… Although I’m no novice at healing, this is perplexing…”

“Yeah, don’t sugarcoat it for me… Sorry if this seems a bit rude, but… You’re not a doctor,” She coughed, “If you can’t do anything, you need someone with more knowledge…”

“What, are you telling me to hire a doctor? Bring one out here? It’s not impossible, but… How am I to lead someone out here without scaring them half to death? Not to mention both you and Eli look more than a tad scary.”

“Good point…”

“Ah, the magical branches have become more and more divided, eh?” Nozomi crossed her leg over the other and placed a hand on her cheek, “Things used to be so close. Healers wouldn’t mind being around witches and we never were ostracised.”

“You miss the days when you could tell fortunes in the big cities, right?” Nico smiled bittersweetly.

“What, have I gone on about it enough?” She laughed.

“It makes you happy, right? Do you have your cards with you?”

Nozomi nodded, reaching carefully into her pocket to bring out a deck of tarot cards, “Of course I do.”

“Give me just a quick reading…” Nico insisted, sniffling.

“One card spread it is,” She said, taking a deep breath, “I might be a little rusty, I haven’t done this in a while. I didn’t want to rely on the cards by doing readings for myself because that has never ended well for a witch.”

“I get it.”

Purple seals glowed on the back of Nozomi’s hands in the image of two flowers as she closed her eyes and began to shuffle the deck. It was slow and methodical, almost entrancing until she placed two fingers on top deck and remove the top card, opening her eyes as she turned the card over.

The Sun.

Nozomi let out the breath she had been holding as the seals faded and she raised her eyebrows at the card, falling silent for a second.

“You’re not gonna tell me what it means?” Nico complained.

“Of course, sorry,” Nozomi chuckled, “The Sun is a very positive card. The Sun is the giver of life and the giver of light. It’s a symbol of hope and the mark of the end of a cycle, typically, or the start of a new one. I think this means it’ll be over soon, Nicocchi. But it won’t happen by us just sitting there.”

“Your cards are never wrong, right?” Nico rasped, “Thank God…”

Nozomi laughed quietly, “I think if you were less desperate you’d doubt my reading, Nicocchi,” Nozomi said, sliding the card pack back into her pocket, “But yes, I think this means your ordeal is nearly over, okay?”

Nico managed a smile as Nozomi reached into her other pocket and procured a phial, “Drink this. Something will come soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno if any of this classifies as body horror but ehhhhhhhhhh… who’s this dumbass who keeps writing new stuff when she has other stuff she needs to finish, amirite? I got bored, i’m so sorry.


End file.
